He was on a ventilator for ten days and he wasn't waking up and I was trudging to the hospital every day sitting by his side. I remember one day I was in the car, praying to God and saying, ‘I just don't think I can do this anymore.’

Things were getting really difficult here at home, and I was feeling very much alone. My husband had atypical Parkinson’s disease. It was progressing very fast and I was having difficulty knowing what to do to take care of him. It was becoming overwhelming. One day I couldn’t get him to sit down on the shower chair. He just froze and it was a dangerous situation. I lost my temper with him because I was so frustrated. That made me very much afraid. It upset me because it wasn’t his fault.

I remembered there was a holy hour at St. Joan of Arc. I started to go and that’s when I prayed, ‘What can I do? How can I be a better caretaker? I’m not sure I can do this.’

So I don't know why, but that in prayer, in holy hour, that just came to me. And so I decided that that's what I was going to do. 

I had a friend come visit me one time, and afterwards, she said, ‘I don't know how you do this. I could never do it.’ I go, ‘Oh, yeah, you could.’ I said, ‘You know what I do? I just think of him as Jesus.’

There comes a time in your life when you kind of survey everything. And during that time, I knew that his illness wasn't going to be good. And, you know, we wouldn't be celebrating too many more anniversaries together. 

It makes you take a hard look and decide what's most important. I think it was because the Eucharist was where I could go, and I just had this quiet time with God and nothing else could get in my way. I also took to heart some advice that our pastor once shared in a homily. He said that while we need to pray, it is also very important to listen to what God is saying to us. I listened to God and he showed me the way to be a better caregiver for my husband.

And I remember praying to God and saying, ‘I just don't think I can do this anymore. You either have to help me or you have to wake him up. Something has to happen.’ 

And he woke up!

A couple of days later, he finally woke up. 

He was only good for a couple of days. And then he was in hospice after that. But at least we got to talk to him. 

I guess what I'm saying is there is no way I could have done any of this without prayer and without receiving the Eucharist. I just found comfort in going to Mass and receiving communion. 

And the more I did it, it seemed like the more I wanted to do it. It’s just like what Christ says, ‘I am the vine. You are the branches.’ We depend on him.