“God has something truly wonderful planned for me”

My greatest experience with the Blessed Sacrament occurred when I was in high school. I traveled to a different city over a weekend for a music competition through the school. I stayed with a sibling overnight and attended Mass in the morning at an inner-city parish. I was in a state of mortal sin at the time and acted a tad childish in my heart about not being able to receive the Blessed Sacrament. I even half contemplated receiving Jesus on an unworthy soul to keep up appearances. The Consecration at Mass that day completely changed my mind. 

At the elevation of the Host, it was reminiscent to me of Pentecost and the driving wind. While the priest elevated the Host, the bells rang in the church and the steeple, everyone made the Sign of the Cross, and it seemed like there was a huge wind coming from the altar and blowing through the congregation. The same thing happened during the elevation of the chalice, where it seemed like a loud, powerful wind was coming off the altar. There was no physical change – no one had their hair blown or clothes ruffled, but I felt it just the same. It seemed like a voice was also in me telling me to pay attention and worship. It was not an audible voice, but reminiscent of the pointed looks I would get from my parents as a child telling me to focus on what is happening. 

The last sign came during Holy Communion. I was still undecided about receiving Jesus, but after some deliberation, I decided to stay back and wait until after Confession. Immediately I felt like a hook at the base of my heart, and words were softly spoken, “I want you, I want you.” 

Since then, I’ve still struggled with keeping my soul clean for the Lord and have had to go many Sundays without receiving Jesus. However, I know in my moments of sadness and sometimes despair, that he gave me that sign for a reason. God wouldn’t give me this grace for laughs and giggles, He has something truly wonderful planned for me. That is why I always keep returning to the Blessed Sacrament. I say this not for my glory but so that He may be glorified in all things. 

I also especially love Adoration and being able to sing. God has blessed me with a talent for music and I absolutely enjoy being able to sing His praises and lead others (hopefully) closer to Him in song.