I was born to a Catholic family in a small town in Southern Mexico. I had joyful and hard times, as life can be many times. As many families experience, we had joyful times and hard times. I am thankful, though, that God gave me wonderful parents and a great younger sister. We used to attend Sunday Mass together, and when I was about 5 or 6 years old, every time I would hear the song “Fisher of Man” at Mass, I would get teary and develop a knot in my throat. Without knowing it, God was smiling and calling me by name.
At that age, I often wondered, “Why are we here in this world? How do we exist?” I grew up with a lot of fears that led to deep wounds and brokenness later in life. In my teenage years, I was very insecure and uncomfortable with who I was, not knowing the value of my soul, my heart, and my whole self. I felt like the ugliest girl in the world and developed an attachment to my appearance, my hair, and my fashion. After finishing school as a textile technician, I got my first boyfriend and started going to parties, drinking alcohol, and having sex. I knew in my heart that what I was doing was wrong and that I was not living the values my family taught me.
I went to the sacrament of Reconciliation to confess my sins: I wanted to do better. I broke up with my boyfriend, and life seemed to get better. I tried to enjoy family time; I met new friends, and I felt I was part of a cool group of friends. Despite all that, my fear of rejection was so deep that I was obsessed with my looks and showing that I was smart, that I was someone. I started my second romantic relationship and soon was very attached to this new boyfriend. At the time, I thought he was the best thing that could happen to me, and I would do whatever he needed. At about this time, I went back to school to get my degree as an engineer. When I had to do my internship in a different state, my boyfriend followed me, and we decided to live together. I knew deeply in my soul and even in my head that living together was not right, but at this point, he was the most important person in my life—he took God’s place.
After six years together and three years living together, everything ended. He ended the relationship. I was empty. I forgot who I was and what I wanted, and I had no idea what I was doing in the world. I sat in my new home, hopeless and broken, and I heard the church bells nearby calling for Mass. I ran after hearing the bells, stayed for Mass, and was consoled by the Lord. I cried as I never cried before. I continued going to daily Mass and adoration but knew I needed a big change in my life. I begged God to give me another job in a different state.
After six months of interviews and running out of money, I got a new job! It was in the auto industry and far away from that city. The Lord gave me the job I needed to heal.
Through my new job, I got to travel to the US, and then, finally, the company brought me to Michigan to support a project for a year. As soon as I stepped off the plane in Michigan, my heart was at peace! I was happy! The Lord blesses Michigan! I was so peaceful and happy here, meeting the team at work that would later become my “Michigan family.” We were working very hard but were very happy. During that year, I prayed every day that the Lord would give me an opportunity to live in Michigan permanently.
In February 2020, I got a job that relocated me to Michigan permanently. Then, the COVID-19 pandemic came, and I couldn’t go back to Mexico to say proper goodbyes to my family and friends. It was hard being away from my family with uncertainty as the whole world was living, but I knew God wanted me here; He allowed me to stay, and He was taking care of me. He provided the help, the home, the meals, the friends, the compassion, every single detail. He was—and is— in charge.
2020 and 2021 were about adjusting to my new life in the US: the language, the food, the new friends and lifestyle. I was extremely happy but still very wounded from the past. I was carrying every sin, every person, every bad situation. I was ashamed and very broken.
I struggled with anxiety and the sin of lust. One afternoon, I was home and started watching a movie about Our Lady of Fatima. During the scene where the children are yelling “Ave Maria” and she appears in lightning, I felt her presence in my apartment. By the grace of God and Mama Mary’s tenderness, I understood how much I was hurting and offending her son. She was showing me how her immaculate heart bleeds, too.
During the pandemic, the churches were closed, so I would watch mass on TV. After a few months, my church offered Mass in the parking lot. I was going to Sunday Mass and, once they opened the church, adoration. I knew Jesus was the one I was receiving in the Eucharist and visiting in the adoration chapel, but I did not quite understand how.
After watching mass on TV one Sunday, I saw a video started explaining the miracles of the Eucharist, like the stories that St. Carlo Acuttis gathered, and then my whole being understood how Jesus was the one I was receiving in the Eucharist and visiting in the adoration chapel!
I was still struggling with anxiety, and I begged the Lord to help me, telling Him, “I am going to Mass, I am visiting Jesus in the adoration chapel, praying the rosary. Why do I still feel this way?” So one Monday after work, I went to church, I heard the church bells, and I walked towards the door. The door was closed, and I thought, “This is weird. How come they are calling for Mass, but the church is closed!?” I went back to my car, and I heard the bells again. I went out one more time and tried to open the door again with no success, but this time, my guardian angel lifted my face and my eyes. I saw a card offering a healing retreat: the John Paul II Healing Center was coming to Michigan. I waited eagerly, and finally, that week came! There, for the first time, I allowed the Lord to enter my heart freely. The Holy Spirit was healing me. There, for the first time, I could recognize the voice of God in my heart. My real identity as a beloved child of God, the value of my soul, and how beautiful He created me, as He did every person in this world. I finally could be comfortable with who I was.
My life changed after that retreat. I continued going to adoration, I tried to go to Mass at least twice a week, and Confession often. Feeling Jesus’ presence every day, every moment, whether I am at work, at church, at home, or hanging out with friends, makes all the difference. He makes the purpose and mission of my life clear: to spend my life serving Him, loving His children, and loving Him more and more every day.
Through the beautiful Eucharist, He called me to come back to Him, to heal me, to restore me, to transform me, to keep loving me. And like the saints say: It is a true love story! What I love about adoration is the way He receives me with His beautiful smile and His arms wide open, the way He calls me to go to visit Him, and His sweet presence, the patience He has to teach me, help me, guide me, hear me, talk to me, and the beating of my heart that is filled with true joy and love for Him.
My sweet Jesus has been my friend – my best friend, I would say – my confidant, my teacher, my doctor … my Lord, my God, and my everything. I can almost see Him — even though my eyes can't, my heart can!
Mass is the moment when heaven is so close I can almost see my Lord. Mass is so wonderful—many, many times, I experience the Holy Spirit pouring His love to all of us there. My soul thirsts to receive Jesus in the Eucharist, and my soul feels eager like a baby when they see their mother coming with a bottle to feed them.
I fell in love with Jesus. I finally have a real relationship with the Holy Trinity, with Mama Mary and dear Saint Joseph, my beautiful guardian angel. Jesus introduced me to his friends, the saints! Dear St. Monica and all my friends in heaven. My daily life changed my prayer life and my professional life, too. The Lord has called me to love His children very closely. Many times, it is challenging, but sharing the Lord’s love is totally worth it. With Jesus’ heart and eyes, I developed a deep love for my coworkers, my bosses, and my friends. Now I know God is with me, and I feel and acknowledge His presence every day.
Experience it for Yourself
Jesus is truly present. Jesus is always with you. Sit in his presence and open yourself up to his voice.